心不爽。 (siem boh song)

March 26, 2010

that bad feeling… its Friday, and i still feel bad inside.
with this mood… i come across as perpetually annoyed… to most people i don’t care, but when i’m this way to friends i actually care about… it’s not really their fault… but then it kind of is…
either way, acting this way to them is not really good either, i shouldn’t do that.
i feel like talking to someone about it… but then i don’t know who…. the person i’d usually go to… is kind of at the heart of this problem
if i can’t talk to anyone about it, the next best thing i can think of is hanging out with some other friends, to try to get my mood back up… there’s 2 events this weekend, hosted by some clubs i joined earlier. i should make an effort to go.

Advertisements

frustration.

March 22, 2010

exam today. had after exam activity planned, but then friend canceled, said that they withdraw support. already asked people to come, stressed over it, spent time and effort on it.

so you can understand my feeling when after the exam & after dinner the SAME friend who canceled asked me if i felt like going to ktv, then onto yumcha. i was pissed. i mean, how much time and effort did i already spend arranging ktv, only to call it off with apologies at the last minute?! and when i suggested yumcha, no we cant go, not everyone is asian.

but, swallow emotions, and go along to ktv, planning for yumcha afterward. booked the room for one hour, with 20mins complimentary. so we choose our songs. no one has a sense of sharing, and most people decide to choose five songs each or something. finally its my turn, then the remote gets passed around again. imagine the dismay added onto my anger when i see some people moving their songs ahead of mine, then adding more of their songs onto the end of the list. like WTF, do you not understand the concepts of sharing and fairness???

it turned out to be a pretty crappy ktv session, with two people dominating the event, selecting the majority of songs, and prioritizing their own songs ahead of others. unbeknownst to the rest of us, someone decided on extending the time for another hour, bring the grand total to 2:40 hours of ktv. I was getting tired and the facade was getting harder to uphold, so i decided to leave. even leaving was a uphill battle, with the ‘organizers’ being more interested in singing and chitchat between themselves than telling me what i owed them. one of them said that they were leaving soon, but was unable to quantify how soon soon was… i was ready to just up and leave, but that would be rude. FINALLY manage to get a response out of them and paid and left. somehow they also managed to shift blame onto me for them booking a large room, when it was the indecisiveness of certain people that led to a small room being booked, then changed to a large. i has NO SAY WHATSOEVER in the matter.

afterward, i was informed that they only had 20 mins left after i left….. great communication there.

overall, the whole night leaves a bitter taste in my mouth, and leaves me to question my friendship with a certain someone, who can cancel on me only to arrange a similar (THE SAME) event then have the gall to ask me along…. feels like betrayal.
not too sure why i’m so worked up over what seems to be such a trivial and minor occurrence…. damn frustrating. i tell that person everything… and this one thing… i must keep to myself…

going to arrange a ktv session with other friends to try remove the bitter taste. not too sure what to do about the friend aspect… i guess…. i just want affirmation that we’re still ok….. i think my life would lose meaning if we’re not ok…. but would you even care….


January 14, 2010

just …

feeling … inside. i’ll get over it.

trepidation of year ahead. because….well, many reasons.

that’s whats causing the …

lol.

i’ll get over it. sooner or later.

later probably.


Home.

November 20, 2009

Out for the whole day. Inadvertently left msn singed on the whole time.

Greeted by a message. Reminded me of the high school reunion held earlier in the night, and how I missed it…..

I was excited when the invites were sent out, but then, as time passed, anticipation waned, especially as I realized it was highly unlikely I would’ve been able to make it – exams only finished 2 days ago, and now after the conclusion of a study year, stuff needs to be burnt, packed away awaiting my return, and packed away for me to lug ‘home’. So, unless I planned to make a quick trip for the reunion and return to pack….. cannot. It’s just….. the twinge of guilt/regret… undoubtedly I didn’t see some of the people there since finals last year…..

Home. Where is home? Initially when I moved for uni, my definition of home was clear in my mind. Home is where my parents are, where the rest of my family is, where I grew up….. but now, I’m not so sure…… Can I have more than one home?

On a different note, check out the about page. There’s some counter thing. Stumbled across it, thought I would include it, but I’m not quite sure how it works yet…..

Oh, and ever have you ever embarrassed yourself and felt like …. just wish you could erase that moment????? lol.


Post #1

November 18, 2009

New blog. First post. What else is there to say?

I suppose more will follow?

Depends how soon I get bored of this blogging thing I suppose.